ENMU News and Events item University Publications item Monday Memo item Wellness Information - February 25, 2002

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Wellness Information


mouse in cheeseTwo weeks ago we wrote in general terms about change sometimes being difficult and the role that mentors might play in the process. Last week we included information on "thinking positive." Having support and thinking positively are both ways to cope well with change. This week some employees on campus are attending workshops on "Who Moved My Cheese?" - another opportunity for learning how to handle change. The author of the book by that name tells a story in which cheese stands for something that we want, and moving the cheese is a metaphor for change. Change is a constant in our current societal environment; those who adapt to change readily have a greater chance of success. We can learn how to identify our current ways of responding to change (and the ways others respond) and decide if we want to learn a more effective way of responding so that we can "find our cheese" sooner.

Another quality that helps us achieve success is called resiliency. We have written about that topic in the past, and this week we have more information on resilience as described by a psychiatrist and a psychologist.

Resilience: The Seven Strengths

If you've lived through a troubled childhood and come out on top, you can thank a handful of personal strengths that have allowed you to build a better life. Some of these are personality traits with which you were born; others you developed at an early age. Psychiatrist Steven Wolin and development psychologist Sybil Wolin identify seven such strengths, which they call resiliencies, in their book The Resilient Self, based on their work with adult survivors of adversity.

Insight: You ask tough questions of yourself and others and don't shy away from honest answers. As a child you became a careful observer and learned to rely on your own interpretations of events, not on what others told you. As an adult you've learned to see things as they are and refuse to blame yourself for your family's troubles.

Independence: You've learned to separate yourself both physically and emotionally from your family's problems. As a child, when things got tough at home, you escaped-to a friend's house, into school activities, into your books or hobbies. When you grew up you may have moved out of town and curtailed visits home. When you do visit, you've learned to avoid letting family members draw you into their unhappiness.

Relationships: You've developed close relationships to substitute for the ones you couldn't achieve with those who failed you. As a child you learned to keep an eye out for concerned adults and became skilled at recruiting their attention and affection. You've cultivated a close circle of friends as a substitute family and in choosing a mate may have picked one with the type of close-knit family you always wished you had.

Initiative: You believe you are master of your fate. Resilient children are often hardworking. They welcome challenges and develop clear and realistic goals. Resilient adults manage to build secure and happy homes for themselves and their children.

mouse chasing lightbulbCreativity: You've learned to bring order out of confusion in a way that makes your life more pleasing. As a child at play in a rich imaginary world, you practiced overcoming the evil forces that threatened your happiness. As you grew, you learned to express your inner turmoil through writing, music, art, or dance.

Humor: You keep your pain in perspective by finding the lighter side of your troubles. Children from unhappy homes often use humor to defuse difficult situations. Resilient adults are often adept at finding the absurd amid the pathos of their troubled pasts.

Morality: Your painful childhood prompted you to develop a sense of compassion and concern for others. Resilient children early on develop a clear sense of right and wrong. Resilient adults often take risks to pursue what they think is right and find meaning in serving others.

It's important to acknowledge your inner strengths, the Wolins say, in order to develop a healthy dose of survivor's pride. That in turn will help you avoid the victim's trap-the mind-set that dwells on pain rather than accomplishment. "Get revenge by living well instead of squandering your energy by blaming and faultfinding," the Wolins suggest.